Buying Something On Sale Is

There Is A Woman Who Swam Around Manhattan, And I Asked Her, Why? She Said, It Hadn't Ever Been Done Before. Well, She Didn't Have To Do That. If She Wanted To Something No One Had Ever Done Before, All She Had To Do Was Vacuum My Apartment.

I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery Until I Noticed That The Doctor's Office Was Full Of Portraits By Picasso.

Men Have An Easier Time Buying Bathing Suits. Women Have Two Types: Depressing And More Depressing. Men Have Two Types: Nerdy And Not Nerdy.

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.