I Love Pittsburgh. Most Of

Donald, I'm Not Sure If You're Even Aware Of This, But The Only Difference Between You And Michael Douglas From The Movie, Wall Street, Is That No One's Going To Be Sad When You Get Cancer.

I Killed A Squirrel Once With A Car. Twice With A Tennis Racket.

I Would Write 100 Jokes A Day. Most Of Them Were Terrible. But I Just Said, 'i'll Write More Than Everybody Else, And That's How I'll Get Better.'

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.

I Never Knew If I Would Get My Own Show, But I Knew I Loved Stand-up.