I Have To Stop Crying

I'm Proud Of The Hangover, But To Be In Movies Like This, Which Are Really The Only Places I Can Get Work, It's Really Quite The Opposite Of What I Am. I Like Sensitive Art-house Movies. I'm Not Even Much Of A Partier. I Mean, I'll Drink Myself Into Oblivion Alone In My Car.

I Wish I Could Sit Back And Say, 'oh, I'm Gonna Wait For A Merchant-ivory Film To Come My Way. Or Ivory-merchant. Whatever It's Called. But You Just Take What's Given And Then, Hopefully, Down The Road You Can Be More Choosy And Only Do, Say, Wayans Brothers Movies. That's My Goal: To Be More Merchant-ivory-wayans.

When You Look Like I Do Its Hard To Get A Table For One At Chucky Cheese.

Tigers Love Pepper...they Hate Cinnamon.

I'd Like To Do A Reality Show With Four White People...who Are Dropped Off In A Really Bad Black Neighborhood. And The Show Would Be Called...cracker Hunt.