I Have A Beard. Just

There Are Rumors That There Is A John Edwards Sex Tape. People Say It's Twenty Minutes Of Edwards Caressing And Stroking...and That's Just The Part Where He Fixes His Hair.

Thank Heaven Election Day Is Over. No More Campaign Ads, No More Mud-slinging, No More Candidates Pretending They're Straight. It's Over!

That's Why I Believe In A Constitution Which Separates Church From State. I've Seen What Happens When They Get In Cahoots.

Today Monopoly Added A New Game Piece: The Cat. The New Piece Was Chosen After Weeks Of Online Voting. Is That A Surprise? Whenever There's A Vote For Something On The Internet, The Cat Always Wins.

Harry Potter, He Sends A Message On Owl Mail While Us Poor Old Muggles Have To Make Do With Instantaneous Emails And Texting. Oh, If Only We Could Be Like You Harry Potter, With Your Four Day Owl Delivery!