I Got My Hair Highlighted

I Like Wearing Necklaces, Because It Lets Me Know When I'm Upside Down.

If Spiderman Was Real, And I Was A Criminal, And He Shot Me With His Web, I Would Say, "dude, Thanks For The Hammock."

I Tried To Walk Into Target, But I Missed. I Think The Entrance To Target Should Have People Splattered All Around.

I Tried To Throw A Yo-yo Away. It Was Impossible.

If I Was A Locksmith, I'd Be Pimping That Out Man. I'll Trade You A Free Key Duplication For. That Joke Made Me Laugh Before I Could Finish It, Which Is Good, Because It Had No Ending.