I Tried To Walk Into

So, I Sit At The Hotel At Night And I Think Of Something That's Funny. Or, If The Pen Is Too Far Away, I Have To Convince Myself That What I Thought Of Wasn't Funny.

I Wanna Hang A Map Of The World In My House. Then I'm Gonna Put Pins Into All The Locations That I've Traveled To. But First, I'm Gonna Have To Travel To The Top Two Corners Of The Map So It Won't Fall Down.

If I Was A Mechanic And Someone Called Me And Said Their Car Would Not Start, I Would Say, "hey - Maybe A Killer Is After You!"

There's A Guy In The Audience With A Distinctive Laugh. I Hope That Guy Is Miked. The Only Problem With Having A Distinctive Laugh Is I Know Exactly When That Guy Isn't Laughing. "oh, Distinctive Laugh Doesn't Think That Joke Was Funny!"

It's Hard To Dance If You Just Lost Your Wallet. Whoa Where's My Wallet But, Hey This Song Is Funky.