I Got Into Stand Up

At The Battle Of The Bands The Loser's Always The Audience.

Sometimes If I Really Want To Get Someone's Attention, I'll Start A Sentence With Something Like, "i'm Not Racist, But..." I Say, "i'm Not Racist, But You Look Great Today." They Say, "that Wasn't Racist At All." I Said, "i Know. I Said I'm Not Racist. You Never Listen. Typical Mexican."

When I Was Younger, I'd Get Very Empirical With Myself. "i Have A Hypothesis About Myself. I'll Put Myself In A Situation, See What Happens, Then I'll Draw A Conclusion Based On The Empirical Evidence. Hypothesis: I Can Play Basketball." So I'd Try. "conclusion: I Cannot Play Basketball."

Never Forget Where You Came From. That's What I Think When I Walk Into A Cave.

One Of My Favorite Clothing Patterns Is Camouflage. Because When You're In The Woods It Makes You Blend In. But When You're Not It Does Just The Opposite. It's Like, 'hey, There's An Asshole.'