I Gave A Funny Speech

If I Tried To Flirt With A Woman And She Didn't Know Who I Was, She Would Run Away.

Sure, Being A Reservist Wasn't As Glamorous, But I Was The One Who Had To Look At Myself In The Mirror.

I Had A Job As A Paralegal. I Drove A Cab.

I Wanted To Make A Living, But I Really Was Not Interested In Money At All. I Was Interested In Being A Great Comedian.

Weathermen Merely Forecast Rain To Keep Everyone Else Off The Golf Course