I Found Out Why Cats

My Mother Always Said Don't Marry For Money, Divorce For Money.

I Took An Acting Class. After The First Day, The Teacher Quit, So They Said Take Another. When I Saw 'how To Be A Stand-up Comedian,' It Resonated. I Realized I'd Rather Make 200 People Laugh Than Make One Person Cry.

I Went To The 30th Reunion Of My Preschool. I Didn't Want To Go, Because I've Put On Like A Hundred Pounds.

I'm Going To Get Married Again Because I'm More Mature Now, And I Need Some Kitchen Stuff.

People Always Come Up To Me And Say That My Smoking Is Bothering Them....well It's Killing Me!