I Don't Want To Wake

I Had To Break Up With My Last Girlfriend For Lying About Being Raped By Her Neighbor. But I've Met Her Neighbor, He's A Cool Guy. Not Like Her Other Creepy Ass Neighbor Though.

I'm A Realist All The Way. I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist. But I've Lived Too Much Of A Charmed Life So Far To Ever Be A Pessimist.

The World Is Full Of Horrible Things.

Amy [schumer] And I Each Have Our Cross To Bear When It Comes To Tattoos. Amy And I Are Funny When We Fight. It Just Keeps Escalating Until One Of Us Starts Laughing. Then It's Over. I'm Happy That We're Friends.

Todd Glass Has Amazing Energy On Stage. Dave Attell Is One Of My Favorites Because He's A One Liner Comic Who Is Always Incredibly In The Moment With The Audience. As For Newer People, I Think Adrienne Iapalucci Writes Some Great, Dark Jokes And Sean Patton Has A Hilarious Voice On Stage.