I Don't Want To Be

One Of My Girlfriends Was Getting Married. This Was Becoming An Annoying Pattern.

[late-night Host] Is Not Really A Job For A Woman. You Can't Have Kids And Be A Late-night Host.i Mean Samantha Bee Has Children, But You're There All Day And All Night. No One Has A Life Outside Of It. I Would Never Try To Have A Family. I Care Much More About A Career Anyway, Than Having A Family, So That's My Own Prerogative. It's Just Not Something That A Woman.

I Can Remember My First One-night Stand Like It Was Yesterday. Well, Maybe Not The First. Or The Second... Or The Fifth. I'll Just Begin With What I Can Remember And Not Concern Myself With Order.

The Challenge Is To Keep It Fresh. If You're Talking About Britney Spears Over And Over, It's Very Hard To Keep That Interesting.

That's Al Qaeda's New Plan: To Destroy America One Period At A Time.