I Don't Seem To Fit

High School Sucks. People Who Say Those Were The Best Years Of Your Life - Those People Are Liars... Who Wants The Best Years Of Their Life To Be In *high School*? High School Is Something *everybody* Should Be Ready To Lose.

You Know In Sixth Grade, When They Made All Of Us Girls Go Into This Other Room And Watch A Video About Getting Our Periods And Stuff? I Bet While We Were Gone, The Boys Were Watching A Video About How To Look At Each Other In That Infuriating Way.

Diet Coke Does Not Contain Nasty Chemicals. It Contains Lovely And Delicious Carbonation, Caffeine, And Aspartame. What's Unnatural About That?

Look, Mr. Uh, Wulf I Appreciate Your Trying To Warn Me About This, Ireally Do. But There's No Such Thing As Vampires. They're Made-up. We Writers Made Them Up. I'm Sorry We Did Such A Good Job That We Made The Whole World Paranoid, But It's True. They're Fictional. Blame Bram Stoker. He Started It.

It's Just That The Times I'm Wrong Don't Register In Your Memory With As Much Clarity As The Times I'm Right.