I Don't Mind Aging, I

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me On Stage Is Someone Ran Forward To Tell Me They Loved Me And Projectile Vomited All Over The Stage. It Was Horrible.

I Have Flabby Thighs, But Fortunately My Stomach Covers Them.

If You're Saying The Same Line 10 Times And Making It Look Like You Just Came Up With It, That's Acting.

The Last Time I Appeared In Las Vegas, They Were Wearing Hoop Skirts And Davy Crockett Hats, ... But They Say 'what Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas.' And As Far As Fashion Is Concerned, That's A Good Thing.

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.