I Don't Want To Do

I've Been Happily Dedicated To The Same Woman For A Number Of Years. I Never Even Look At Other Women.

People Get Tv Deals By Doing Something In Their Grandmother's Basement. It Is Definitely The Wave. Everybody Is Trying To Do All That Stuff. I Mean, The Internet Is The Only Reason That I've Gotten Work Is Because I've Somehow Created A Line And People Have Seen It. And Then I've Been Asked To Auditions.

I'm An American So Its Kind Of Hard For Me To Talk About 9/11. So Whenever Someone Brings It Up In A Conversation, I Say "i Didn't Like 9/11."

Yesterday, I Masturbated For 45 Minutes... With Salad Tongs.

I Think Comedy Does Have That Powerful Thing That Doesn't Seem Too Preachy Because You're Also Making People Laugh, So It's Really Kind Of A Good Tool For Messaging.