Yesterday, I Masturbated For 45

I Would Have Changed My Last Name If Being Famous Were My Goal.

You Know It's Time To Do The Laundry When You Dry Off With A Sneaker.

My Comfort Zone Is Press Conferences.

I Like To Read The Bible In Public Places Where People Are Watching Me Read It. And I Like To Mumur Out To Myself: 'bullshit!'

I'm Not Versed Enough In Constitutional Law To Run For Office. I'd Have To Go Back To School Or Something.