I Do My Laundry On

I’m Sure You Gathered This By Now: I Just Do What I Want. Have I Made Out With Chicks? Hell Yeah. Did I Think It Was Awesome? Hell Yeah. I Wouldn’t Call Myself Bi. Like, If I Didn’t Eat Meat For A Week, It Doesn’t Make Me A Vegetarian. So I Like People, And That’s Just It. I Like People.

I'm Not Saying I Look Cool, But Every Single Time I Go Onstage, It Is A Fail If I Don't Feel Like I'm Going To Pass Out At Least Twice.

Somebody Sent Me Their Tooth, Which I Now Wear As An Earring. It's A Molar, I Think. I Love It When People Send Me Body Parts.

I Was Dating A Guy Once Who Spoke Rudely To A Taxi Driver. I Got Out Of The Cab And Walked Home. Treat People With Respect. I've Waited Tables, And That's Why I Just Exceedingly Overtip. It's Exhausting Work.

I Played Saxophone And Trumpet. Pretty Nerdy.