I Discovered The Wife's Got

With Wives, Men Hide Behind The Air Of Bravado, Which Is Basically A Defence Mechanism, I Think. Clever Creatures, Women. Very Clever.

My Wife Is A Sex Object - Every Time I Ask For Sex, She Objects.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.

Funny Thing How You First Meet The Woman That You Marry. I First Met The Wife In A Tunnel Of Love. She Was Digging It.

I Took My Mother-in-law To Madame Tussaud's Chamber Of Horrors, And One Of The Attendants Said: 'keep Her Moving Sir; We're Stock-taking.'