I Did A Gig In

I Was Out With A Friend And He Came Over With A Pair Of Girls. I Said To Him "they're Like Buses." He Said "what? Because You Wait For Ages And Then Two Come Along At Once." I Said "no, They Are Like Buses!"

I'm Obsessed With Tv. How Wrong Our Parents Were When They Said We Should Only Watch An Hour A Day. Stop Wasting Your Time Reading Books.

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

There's Things That I Couldn't Joke About But Other People Could.

A Big Girl Once Came Up To Me After A Show And Said "i Think You're Fatist." I Said "no, No. I Think You're Fattest."