I Did A Gig In

I Was Out With A Friend And He Came Over With A Pair Of Girls. I Said To Him "they're Like Buses." He Said "what? Because You Wait For Ages And Then Two Come Along At Once." I Said "no, They Are Like Buses!"

The 2012 Olympics Is Going To Cost £8 Billion Which Is A Lot Of Money. It'll Probably Bankrupt London. But You Can't Put A Price On Two Bronze Medals In Cycling.

I'm Obsessed With Tv. How Wrong Our Parents Were When They Said We Should Only Watch An Hour A Day. Stop Wasting Your Time Reading Books.

Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make Them Walk Like A Robot.

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.