I Used To Buy Lottery

I Did A Gig In The U.s. Once For The Homeless. I Said 'it's Nice To See So Many Bums On Seats.'

Even If You're Doing The National Insurance Awards, There's Still That Excitement When You Wonder Who Is Going To Win, Er, Best Premiums.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil. Rohypnol

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.