I Became A Hero To

I Became A Hero To Everyone Because I Didn't Take Dialysis And Was Still Alive.

This Is A Wonderful Way To Celebrate An 80th Birthday... I Wanted To Be 65 Again, But They Wouldn't Let Me - Homeland Security.

War For Most Men Is Not Fighting Or Marching In Parades. It Is Sitting Around Somewhere Wondering What The Hell You Are Supposed To Be Doing.

Tax Reform Is Taking The Taxes Off Things That Have Been Taxed In The Past And Putting Taxes On Things That Haven't Been Taxed Before.

People Are Broad-minded. They'll Accept The Fact That A Person Can Be An Alcoholic, A Dope Fiend, A Wife Beater And Even A Newspaperman, But If A Man Does Not Drive, There Is Something Wrong With Him.