People Who Live In Glass

Don't Commit Suicide, Because You Might Change Your Mind Two Weeks Later.

Writing Humor In My Column Isn't As Dangerous As Performing It. If I Fail In Front Of A Live Audience, The Humiliation Is As Great As Anything A Human Being Can Suffer.

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

Tax Reform Is Taking The Taxes Off Things That Have Been Taxed In The Past And Putting Taxes On Things That Haven't Been Taxed Before.

I Became A Hero To Everyone Because I Didn't Take Dialysis And Was Still Alive.