I Am Trying To Release

My Girlfriend Bought A Cook Book The Other Day Called 'cheap And Easy Vegetarian Cooking'. Which Is Perfect For Her, Because Not Only Is She Vegetarian.

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.