I Am Constantly Being Asked

Tennis Is Like Marrying For Money. Love Has Nothing To Do With It.

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

I Met My Husband When A Friend Sent Him Over To My House To Cure My Hiccoughs.

Comedy Is Tragedy Revisited Or Hostility. It Is Mock Hostility, Of Course, Or It Would Be Ugly; We Would Have A War.

[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God Won't Know Me. There Are No Two Parts Of My Body The Same Age.