I Am Constantly Being Asked

Life Is A Do-it-yourself Kit, So Do It Yourself. Work. Practice.

Comedy Is Tragedy Revisited.

[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God Won't Know Me. There Are No Two Parts Of My Body The Same Age.

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

I Never Made `who's Who,' But I'm Featured In `what's That?'