I Always Wanted To Get

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."

We Seem To Be Going Through A Period Of Nostalgia, And Everyone Seems To Think Yesterday Was Better Than Today. I Don't Think It Was, And I Would Advise You Not To Wait Ten Years Before Admitting Today Was Great. If You're Hung Up On Nostalgia, Pretend Today Is Yesterday And Just Go Out And Have One Hell Of A Time.

Ascot Is So Exclusive That It Is The Only Racecourse In The World Where The Horses Own The People.

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

People Ask What I Am Really Trying To Do With Humor. The Answer Is, "i'm Getting Even