How Do I Keep Fit?

How Do I Keep Fit? I Lay Down A Lot.

I Never Take Any Notice Of Reviews - Unless A Critic Has Thought Up Some New Way Of Describing Me. That Old One About My Lizard Eyes And Anteater Nose And The Way I Sleep My Way Through Pictures Is So Hackneyed Now.

I Never Changed Anything, Except My Socks And My Underwear. And I Never Did Anything To Glorify Myself Or Improve My Lot. I Took What Came And Did The Best I Could With It.

Stars Today Are Just Masturbation Images.

Sure I Was Glad To See John Wayne Win The Oscar I'm Always Glad To See The Fat Lady Win The Cadillac On Tv, Too.