Hi, Well Soon Return You

Hi. There Was A Big Accident, Some People Got Decapitated, Here Are Their Names... You Know What? That Shirt Really Makes You Look Fat. I Mean, The Colour's All Wrong... I Mean, Who Shot The Drapes?

There Are So Many Things I'd Like To Change In The Industry. Everything From The Reliance Of Style Over Substance To Their Reluctance To Hire Me For Big Budget Blockbusters, But The Thing I Would Love Most Would Be If They Understood People Don't Have To Be Hollywood Beautiful To Be Sexy Or Interesting.

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

I'm A Traveling Practical Joker. That's My Line Of Work.

You Don't Sweat Much For A Fat Girl.