He Was Happily Married -

My Father Invented A Cure For Which There Was No Disease And Unfortunately My Mother Caught It And Died Of It.

The Conductor Is A Peculiar Person. He Turns His Back On His Friends In The Audience, Shakes A Stick At His Players In The Orchestra, And Then Wonders Why Nobody Loves Him.

The Elephant Smoked Too Much.(explaining Why The Keys Of His Piano Were So Yellow)

It (the Double-clarinet In India) Was Primarily Used For Snake Charming, Since The Snake Would Do Almost Anything To Get The Indians To Stop Playing It.

Santa Claus Has The Right Idea - Visit People Only Once A Year.