He That Searches For Praise

I've Been In Theaters. Like Brian Regan, Who I Love - Loved Him So Much More When He Did The Improvs. And Then In A Big Theater - Nobody's That Good.

Note To Self... Sex With Blow-up Doll Is Not As Good As Advertised.

Never Raise Expectations In Others That You Cannot Realize: Promise Is Less Pleasing Than Disappointment Is Vexatious.

Last Christmas, I Got The Worst Gift A Guy Ever Gave Me. He Gave Me A Lottery Ticket... What's The Guy Even Thinking There. Here You Go... Nothing! Merry Christmas! It's Nothing!

A Lot Of People Think I'm Difficult To Work With. It's Not Like I Really Want To Do That Much Stuff, So It Doesn't Really Matter. I Guess I'm Somewhat Difficult When It Comes To Comedy.