When I Was A Kid,

They That Are Fated To Be Fools, Have One Consolation, That They Are Fated Also To Be Ignorant Of It.

The Joy A Person Is Usually Seen To Express At The Conversion Of Another To His Opinion Is Seldom More Than The Impulse Of Egotistical Satisfaction At Being Considered Worthy Of Didactic Imitation.

I Completely Understand Why A Businessman Would Fire Me From 'saturday Night Live'. Because He Was Seeing Jay Leno Kill 10 Minutes A Night, Doing His Monologue With Wall-to-wall Laughs And Applause, Then I Do 10 Minutes A Week To, Sometimes, Breathtaking Silence. He's Just Listening For The Laughs.

This Is A Thing I Read By A Scientist... It Said Scientists Now Say That A Man Thinks About Sex Once Every 7.3 Seconds. Now, I Know What I Think Every 7.3 Seconds. It's Just A Bunch Of Meaningless Gibberish.

You Can't Love Your Team Without Hating Another Team.