Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead.

Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. But Married Men Are A Lot More Willing To Die.

Never Ask Your Wife If She Still Hears From Her Old Pimp.

Pittsburgh Is Kind Of Like Newark Without The Cultural Advantages.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.