Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In

The Hollywood Tradition I Like Best Is Called Sucking Up To The Stars.

The Good News Is That The President Gets Another Chance. The Bad News Is That He'll Be Two Weeks Older.

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

For Days After Death Hair And Fingernails Continue To Grow, But Phone Calls Taper Off.

Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In Your Martini When Youre Hungry.