Hakeem Couldn't Kick Your Ass

There's Only 5 Real Jobs In The World. Teacher, Fireman, Policeman, Doctor And Somebody Who Is In The Armed Service. If You Don't Have One Of Those 5 Jobs, You Shouldn't Take Your Life That Serious.

If You Are An Ugly Woman, You Have No Chance Of Getting A Tv Job.

Curling Is Not A Sport. I Called My Grandmother And Told Her She Could Win A Gold Medal Because They Have Dusting In The Olympics Now.

Thank God For Jerry Springer's Show. I Thought Only Black Folks Were That Screwed Up Until I Watched Jerry Springer.

I Don't Create Controversies. They're There Long Before I Open My Mouth. I Just Bring Them To Your Attention.