God Gave Me Some Weird,

As A Kid, I'd Go Into The Bathroom When I Was Having A Tantrum. I'd Be In The Bathroom Crying, Studying Myself In The Mirror. I Was Preparing For Future Roles.

When I'm Around The Kids I Feel Like I Act The Most Grown-up Just Because You're Supposed To. And I Say Things, Like Every Other Day, That Remind Me Of My Own Parents.

If A Girl Breaks Up With Me, I Want Her To Just Die, Just Be Dead. Not 'cause I Hate Her So Much As It's Just Easier For When My Friends Go, 'hey, What Happened?' 'oh, She's Dead. I'd Still Be With Her, But She's Dead. What Can I Do? She Was Loving Me, But She's Dead.'

If It's Something I Feel I Can Do Alright, I Like Being In Those, And Some That I Think Rob Schneider And David Spade Would Be Funnier At Than Me, I Tell Them To Do It. I Don't Have Any Clue How We Decide. There's This Thing, This "click", Actually, One Of My Friends Called Me Up, My Partner Told Me About This Idea That Steve Koren Had. Steve Koren, By The Way, The Guy Who Wrote It With Mark O'keefe, Steve Koren I've Known Since I Was 22. He Was A Page At Saturday Night Live.

Sixth Grade Was A Big Time, In My Childhood, Of Hoops And Friendship, And Coming Up With Funny Things.