Failure-it Centers Me. Too Much

Parents, Just Keep In Mind That Kids Will Always Round Off To The Nearest Obscenity.

I Married A Saint - Well, A Saint Who Curses.

Without Identical Twins, You'll Never Get To Experience Entering A Hotel Room With One Of Them And Watching Him Run Into The Full-length Mirror Because He Though He Saw His Brother.

People Think Living In Your Parents' Basement Until You're Twenty-nine Is Lame. But What They Don't Realize Is That While You're There, You Save Money On Rent, Food, And Dates.

When You Wake Up One Day And Say, "you Know What? I Don't Think I Ever Need To Sleep Or Have Sex Again." Congratulations, You're Ready (to Have Children).