Failure Is The Only Thing

All British Castles And Old Country Homes Are Supposed To Be Haunted. It's In The Lease.

If I Have To Lay An Egg For My Country, I'll Do It.

As Soon As The War Ended, We Located The One Spot On Earth That Hadn't Been Touched By The War And Blew It To Hell.

I Don't Know What People Have Against Jimmy Carter. He's Done Nothing.

My Old Friend Jack Benny Has Only Had One Ball All His Golfing Life. And Now He's Lost It. The String Came Off!