Experience, They Say, Is The

You Need That Guy Like A Giraffe Needs Strep Throat.

A Cigarette Is A Roll Of Paper, Tobacco, And Drugs, With A Small Fire On One End And A Large Fool At The Other. Some Of Its Chief Benefits Are Cancer Of The Lips And Stomach, Softening Of The Brain, Funeral Procesions, And Families Shrouded In Gloom And Grief. Although A Great Many People Know This, They Still Smoke In Order To Appear Sophisticated.

A Person Doesn't Know How Much He Has To Be Thankful For Until He Has To Pay Taxes On It.

Some Things Get Better With Age, But After A Certain Point, The Mind Isn't Among Them.

When A Person Begins To Yell During An Argument, It Is A Tip-off That He Is Unsure Of Himself.