Don't Buy One Of Those

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce - My Main Thrust Was The Body And Its Functions And Malfunctions - The Absurdity Of The Thing.

Never Trust Anybody With Only One Book.

I've Always Liked It Here. Part Of Me Is Irish. My Family Comes From The West Coast, So Whenever I Come To Ireland I Get A Wee Tingling In My Heart That I'm Where I Belong.

I'm A Huge Film Star... But You Have To Hurry To The Movies, Because I Usually Die In The First 15 F--ing Minutes. I'm The Only Guy I Know Who Died In A F--ing Muppet Movie.

As Soon As I Got Successful, The Scottish Press Started Picking On Me. It's Something They Reserve Just For Me.