Don't Work Out, Work In.

When You're Eating Something And Someone Asks 'is That Nice?' No It's Really Revolting - I Always Eat Stuff I Hate.

I Don't Understand Art-speak. My Pictures Are Big Doodles. I'm Amazed What People Come Up With When They Look At Them. There's One Of A Figure With Two Heads That Somebody Thought Must Be A Comment On The State Of Matrimony. None Of It Is A Comment On Anything.

I Don't Know Why I Should Have To Learn Algebra... I'm Never Likely To Go There.

Paddy Was In The Delivery Room When The Midwife Handed Him A Black Baby. "is This Yours?" She Asked "probably" Said Paddy "she Burns Everything Else"

What Always Staggers Me Is That When People Blow Their Noses, They Always Look Into Their Hankies To See What Came Out. What Do They Expect To Find?