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Hey, Guess What? Turns Out The Free Market? Not So Free. Wall Street Was Hit Hard Monday When Lehman Brothers Filed For Bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch Was Sold To Bank Of America, And Insurance Giant Aig Neared A Collapse Of Its Own. Basically, If Your Commercials Air During Golf Tournaments, You're Done.

President Bush Threw Out The First Pitch Monday At Cincinnati's Great American Ball Park. 18 Iraqis Were Killed.

I Do Not Improvise In Heels.

Being Snubbed Is Not Always A Bad Thing At Awards Shows Because You End Up Getting A Lot Of People Coming Up To You And Telling You How Great You Are.

My Phone Is Trying To Kill Me. It Is A Battery-charged Rectangle Of Disappointment And Possibility. It Is A Technological Pacifier.