Try Putting Your Iphones Down

Telling Me To Relax Or Smile When I'm Angry Is Like Bringing A Birthday Cake Into An Ape Sanctuary. You're Just Asking To Get Your Nose And Genitals Bitten Off.

The Minute Anyone Makes You Feel Weird And Non-included Or Not Supported, You Know, Either Beat It Or Tell Them To Beat It.

Creativity Is Connected To Your Passion, That Light Inside You That Drives You. . . . Your Creativity Is Not A Bad Boyfriend. It Is A Really Warm Older Hispanic Lady Who Has A Beautiful Laugh And Loves To Hug.

Please Don't Drive Drunk, Okay? Seriously... But By All Means, Walk Drunk. That Looks Hilarious. Everyone Loves To Watch Someone Act Like They Are Trying To Make It To Safety During A Hurricane.

It's Very Hard To Watch Comedy For Me, When I'm Doing A Comedy Show, Because I Either Watch A Show And I Love It, And I'm Jealous, Or I Watch A Show And I See All The Problems With It, And I'm Angry That I Watched It.