Cocktails Are Society's Most Enduring

To Get Fifty People To A Cocktail Party In New York, You Ask One Hundred. In Hollywood, You Invite Twenty.

Don't Try For Wit. Settle For Humor. You'll Last Longer.

[on The British Museum:] It Was Manifestly Impossible To Read All The Books In That Huge, Gloomy Structure, But I Made A Good Try And Accumulated A Fund Of Useless Information Guaranteed To Cast A Pall Over Any Dinner Table.

Laugh At Yourself First, Before Anyone Else Can.

The Loudest Psalm Singer In The Congregation Always Is A Reformed Sinner.