Because We Allow Handguns. When

In College I Was One Of Six Males Who Auditioned For Five Male Roles In A Comedy Play. I Was The One Rejected. At That Moment I Made Up My Mind Never To Place Myself At The Mercy Of Some Pompous, Goateed, Black-turtleneck-shirted "should I Yay Him Or Nay Him?" Pantywaist Ever Again.

I Find You Can Often Find Humor Just By Turning Something Upside-down. Like A... Small Child.

I'm Not A Republican... But I Am Saving Up To Be One.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.

If You Can Make Just One Person Laugh, Then You Are Already Doing Better Than Tony Danza.