Not Everybody Hates Me. Only

Back In High School, My Buddies Tried To Put The Make On Anything That Moved. I Told Them, Why Limit Yourselves?

I Once Heard Two Ladies Going On And On About The Pains Of Childbirth And How Men Don't Seem To Know What Real Pain Is. I Asked If Either Of Them Ever Got Themselves Caught In A Zipper.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

My Ex-girlfriend Was Very Sexy. She Reminded Me Of The Sphinx Because She Was Very Mysterious And Eternal And Solid...and Her Nose Was Shot Off By French Soldiers.

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.