At Christmas Time We Couldn't

Every Time I Get In An Elevator, The Operator Says The Same Thing To Me: 'basement?'

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

I Tell Ya, Sex Is Getting Harder All The Time. Me And My Wife Were Trying To Have Sex For Hours Last Night And I Finally Gave Up. I Asked Her, "what, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?"

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

Some Dog I Got Too. We Call Him Egypt. Because In Every Room He Leaves A Pyramid.