At Any Minute, I Am

I Never Give Anyone Just One Congratulation. Congratulations Are Always Plural. They Are Similar To Grapes.

I Love Steven Wright. I Was In High School In The '80s, And There Was A Lot Of Stand Up On Television.

After Going Through Years Of Litigation To Get Royalties Due To Him, The Guy Who Coined The Term 'happily Ever After' Lived Reasonably Well For A While.

I Was Thinking How Strange It Is That Water Is One Of The Best, Simplest Things On This Planet, And Still With A Simple Glass Of Water You Can Neutralize So Many Of The Greatest Technological Advances That We Provide. Like With My Blackberry, I Can Get In Touch With So Many People, But If I Dip It In A Small Glass Of Water I'm Completely Disconnected.

When They Were Naming Vitamins They Must Have Thought There Were Going To Be Way More Vitamins Than There Ended Up Being. Ok Let's Name These: Vitamin A, Vitamin B... Ok Man Slow Down We've Got A Lot To Cover Here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then They Got To E And They Were Like 'we're Pretty Much Done. We've Got All Those Damn B's. This Is Embarrassing. Let's Just Skip To K And Get The Hell Out Of Here.