At A Rehearsal I Let

At A Rehearsal I Let The Orchestra Play As They Like. At The Concert I Make Them Play As I Like.

If She Is Attractive, I Can't Perform With Her; If She Is Not, Then I Won't.

The Function Of Music Is To Release Us From The Tyranny Of Conscious Thought.

The Trouble With Women In An Orchestra Is That If They're Attractive It Will Upset My Players And If They're Not It Will Upset Me.

The Bagpipes Sound Exactly The Same When You Have Finished As When You Started