Apparently We Love Our Own

You're Not A Real Texan Till You've Been Kicked Out Of Every Decent State In America.

Almost Every Venerable Tradition At A Men's Club Starts Out As A Joke.

The Fifties Were When People Started Coming Down On "juvenile Delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody That Was Young, Wore A Motorcycle Jacket, And Didn't Act Polite Around Older People.

There Is No Post-9/11. Everything From Now Until The End Of Time Is Post-9/11.

I Hate The Oscars. The Oscars Make Me Want To Throw Things At The Tv. In The Ancient History Of The Oscars, People Would Go On And Make Political Statements And Get Thrown Off The Stage, But The Last Great Political Statement, I Think, Was When Michael Moore Started Raging Against Bush A Few Years Back. Everybody Booed Him, Even Though I Can't Imagine Hollywood Booing A Guy Who's Bashing Bush. That Was The Last Great Spontaneous Moment On The Oscars.