Anyone That Says Looks Don't

I Have So Little Sex Appeal That My Gynecologist Calls Me "sir."

Florida Wants To Change The State's Motto To Attract Younger People. They're Thinking About: More Than Just A Great Place To Die.

And Since We're All Adults Here, Let's Be Brutally Honest-most Babies Are Not Actually Attractive. In Fact, They're Weird And Freakish Looking. A Large Percentage Of Them Are Squinty-eyed And Bald And Their Faces Are All Mushed Toegther, Kind Of Like Renee Zellweger Pushed Up Against A Glass Window.

All Angelina Jolie Wants To Do Is Do Good For People. And She Was Saying To Me: If I Could Just Make One Person Happy, Joan, I'll Die Satisfied. I Said: Easy! Just Give Jennifer Aniston Back Her Husband.

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.