Looking 50 Is Great, If

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.

Self-pity Shortens Your Life.

Elizabeth Taylor Was So Fat That Whenever She Went To London In A Red Dress, 30 Passengers Would Try To Board Her.

People Say That Money Is Not The Key To Happiness, But I Always Figured If You Have Enough Money, You Can Have A Key Made.

All Angelina Jolie Wants To Do Is Do Good For People. And She Was Saying To Me: If I Could Just Make One Person Happy, Joan, I'll Die Satisfied. I Said: Easy! Just Give Jennifer Aniston Back Her Husband.