And Stop Pointing That Beard

I Started Smoking As Soon As I Went On The Stage. I'd Make Cigars Out Of The Morning World When I Was A Kid.

Middle Age Is When You Go To Bed At Night And Hope You Feel Better In The Morning. Old Age Is When You Go To Bed At Night And Hope You Wake Up In The Morning.

Well I Thought My Razor Was Dull Until I Heard His Speech, And That Reminds Me Of A Story That's So Dirty I'm Ashamed To Think Of It Myself.

Wives Are People Who Feel They Don't Dance Enough.

Bel Air, I Am Convinced, Was Laid Out By Some Diabolic Sadist Who Deliberately Decided Not To Use A Compass Or A Surveyor.