And Like The Old Stereotype,

I'm Always Amazed To Hear Of Air Crash Victims So Badly Mutilated That They Have To Be Identified By Their Dental Records. What I Can't Understand Is, If They Don't Know Who You Are, How Do They Know Who Your Dentist Is?

I Think Having An Outsider's Viewpoint Is Interesting And Good, Especially For A Comedian.

The Thing About Improvisation Is That It's Not About What You Say. It's Listening To What Other People Say. It's About What You Hear.

In 1987, I Was In Edinburgh Doing My First One-man Show. I Took Part In A Kickabout With Some Fellow Comedians And Tripped Over My Trousers And Heard This Cracking Sound In My Leg. A Couple Of Days Later I Went Into A Coma And Was Diagnosed With A Pulmonary Embolism.

My Favourite Riposte To A Heckle Is To Say, 'excuse Me, I'm Trying To Work Here. How Would You Like It If I Stood Yelling Down The Alley While You're Giving Blow Jobs To Transsexuals?'